WOKEBROBANSKO BEST BELGIAN

flanders user
Pls dont delete its NOT copypasta and NOT a troll
Im 16, im obsessed with asia csgo and i really badly wanna meet asian csgo pros, take pictures and collect signs from and with them.
Im a unusual guy, i life in germany i line languages, i use makeup even though im a boy and im introverted. I have basically never talked to a female my age and i never wanted that neither did i want a girlfriend. I only wanted sex.
I hate school, it makes me mentally so sad i feel mentally so challenged sitting there 8 hours a day with people that i dont like, i dont have reallife friends.
My parents forbids me pretty much everything i like and they hate on much stuff that i like.

I dont want a house, i wanna be like bald and bankrupt snd travel the world. I hate kids and i never want them, id rather shoot myself. My psychologist said i have very very serious problems, and that im basically dead inside. The only thing i do is learn chinese, frel bad at school and play a lot csgo.whats wrong with me?.. i know its hltv but its serious

I go to a psychologist every 2 weeks and she said im dead inside rn basically
Almost everyday i feel like shit and i wouldnt have anything against killing myself
I’m a loser, I have no motivation for anything, i dont like myself even a tiny bit. Im bad at school and I dont have a bright future. Everyone tells me“go to school, learn and be successful „ but im way too lazy, i cant stand the thought of sitting 8 hours in school and having homework , when i know could have fun in those 8 hours, it triggers me soo hard. Sometimes im sitting depressed and i wish i had a gun and pul the trigger, and csgo pro scene is a thing of few which keeps me from finally doing it, im obsessed with many pros.
What should i do?

Threads worth saving
https://www.hltv.org/forums/threads/2456797/greatest-prediction-of-all-time