Biography
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up transforms into a highly intoxicating (non-addictive) delicious substance upon returning from the 5th Dimension. Stock up now with our Valu-Pak to recieve 3-metric tons of Ketchup, all for the low, low price of your brain, since you're obviously not using it anyway. Then, just wait for technology to "catch-up" (get it, catch-up, Ketchup?)so you can travel to the 5th Dimension like our scientists almost did. (Next Commercial) Get ready fo: Faux's new "reality" TV show, "How Low Can We Go?" It's about six contestants who compete to create the worst, least likely "reality" TV show. The winner not only gets the million-dollar prize, they get the chance to produce the show they created. Remember: if the show sucks, it's their fault, not ours!(Next exciting commercial!)And for all the idiots out there: Try new and improved Dum-B-Gon! Dum-B-Gon stimulates brain activity, making you up to 10 times smarter! Not only that, Dum-B-Gon: stimulates weight loss, cures "any" illness, does simple houshold chores, never leaves the toilet seat up and is the perfect gentle companion for your kids. How can you pass up this revolutionary new product? It's yours for only 3 bi-monthly payments of $3.95 ($3,95,000 on days ending in "y")Don't forget, Dum-B-Gon is practically guaranteed!* (*Not a guarantee) (Next commercial)Have you ever wondered why food sometimes goes bad in your fridge, even if you've only had it a few years? It's because of the "evil little faeries with sharp little teeth." These "faeries" sprinkle your food with highly toxic "age dust" and ruin a perfectly good four-year-old meatloaf. How do you stop them? With our patented "spray". Our "spray" kills over 99.9% of "faeries" (which are much to small to see) Our "spray" also kills most disease causing agents, like rats, or pigeons. WARNING: Leave ou think that the long held belief that Kodak conspired with the JFK assasin(s) is normal. Another article claims that an anitseptic turned a polar bear purple, drawing large crowds of people. I sure hope other zoos won't copy them. Before you know it, we'll have orange alligators, pink tigers and blue lions. School children won't be able to correctly identify the color of a zebra. Random people will think they've gone crazy, after a seemingly innocent visit to the zoo. It's wrong, I tell you. A complete and total degregation of our societies values. What values, you say? The basic moral belief that Polar bears should be WHITE. Unless we spray-painted the snow purple, too. Then it would be okay. As long as the bear blends in, you know? Speaking of animals, there's a cat in California who is a kleptomaniac (likes to steal stuff). He sneaks into neighboring homes, and takes clothing, wrapped christmas presents, and anything he can find. He then leaves them under his owners car. Okay, better leave. I'm back. And I don't really have a topic today. I'm just bored. Sometimes I just do this, you know? Start typing without any idea about what it is I intend to say. Maybe I subconsiously DO know what I'm doing here, but refuse to admit it to myself. Or maybe I am monumentally bored and don't have anything else to do at the moment. Either way, I'm here. You must be pretty bored, too. Otherwise, why on earth (beta, krpto, zkdjf, Planet X, whatever) would you be here? It would make no sense. If you have something better to do, why wouldn't you be doing it right now? I would be. But, maybe that's just the difference between you and me. Yeah. That must be it. Unless you're bored. Then I completly understand. I need to find a topic. Here, topic, topic, topic! Come on, I won't hurt you, I promise! *hides large ax behind back* Come here, topic! Why are you afraid of little ol' me? *sigh* There are no topics anywhere near me. Kinda like me and "Meg" webcomic we are trying to do. It's called Hit-Or-Miss, any topics, plot, etc. are completly accidental and are not the fault/responsibility of the creators. That was sort of a topic, even though it was sort of random. Which is what I do best. Okay, I'm done with that litte commercial. What now...hmmmmm...should I share with you more of my paranoid/delusional conspiracy theories? Or have I been doing that too much lately? Oooooo! I know, I'll start of list of why it's fun/good to be insane/weird! #1You can say or do anything and normal people will agree with you in the hopes that you'll be satisfied, shut up, and go away. Far away. I will show you an example with this completly true stuff that I experienced several years ago. ME: My vicious, psychotic, flesh-eating bunny-rabbit wants to rule the world. RANDOM PERSON: Uh-huh, that's nice. ME: Yeah, but I told her that she'd be a terible ruler. I mean, she traded Asia for a carrot! And she doesn't even LIKE carrots! RANDOM PERSON: You don't say? ME: Yep. She also is the goddess of red jello. RANDOM PERSON: *head explouding from sheer insanity* As you can see, I was a very weird child (this happened in elementary school...uh...except for that head-explouding part). Okay...on to: #2 You can get out of practically anything by saying: a)It's against my religion b)I'm allergic to that. c)I have an extremly irrational fear of that. d)I already did that in a past life and it sucked. e)My psychotic bunny predicted I'd die doing it. Unfortunalty, several of those reasons LEGITAMITLY apply to a certain activity I do every Tuesday, which WILL NOT BE NAMED HERE LEST I GIVE IT POWER OVER ME! I'm allergic to parts of it, have irrational fears about others and I'm pretty sure it's against my Jenny religion...along with eating mashed potatoes, or potatoes of any kind. I'll add that to the FLAMING CHICKENS HANDBOOK. Thou shalt not eat spuds. Hmmmm...time for #3You can obsessive over ANYTHING, and people will think nothing of it. I, personally, am obsessed with, kitties, bunnies, bats, this website, drawing, making intriate little patterns with strings, doing mildly repetitive activities, being weird, apparantly making lists and cheese...and chickens...and flame. Fire is good. Fire is free. Fire is my friend...until it burns me. Then it must die...painfully. And on to:#4You make your friends look normal in comparison. And #5: You can give each of your pets several weird names such as: Ringling-Raison-Bailey-Su zana-Midnight-Schultz, Squirell, Moose, Moose-Moose, Moosey-Moose, Linzey-Moose, Muffin, Squirell-Muffin, Yabby-Doodle, Abby Normal, Wiggle-Baby, Wiggle-Muffin, Witle-Baby, Cheese-Monkey, Muffin-With-Squirell-Juic e, Squirell-With-Muffin Juice, Moosey-Juice, Squirell-Monkey, etc. Now, wasn't that a fun list!? Doesn't that just make you proud to be weird? I should make bumber stickers saying that. Proud to be weird. It'd be cool. Anyway, gotta go! *yawn* I'm back. Last night I was super-charged with lots of sugar and not a lot of sleep. I ended up writing things during the time of night when EVE &#292;&#257;-M&am p;#299;m. Tanz&#299;lu Al-Kit&#257;bi Mina All&#257;hi Al-`Az&#299;zi Al-`Al&#299;mi. Gh&#257;firi Adh-Dhanbi Wa Q&#257;bili At-Tawbi Shad&#299;di Al-`Iq&#257;bi Dh&#299; A&#355;-&#354;awl i L&#257; 'Il&#257;ha 'Ill&#257; Huwa 'Ilayhi Al-Ma&#351;&#299; ru. M&#257; Yuj&#257;dilu F&#299; '&#256;y&#257;ti All&#257;hi 'Ill&#257; Al-Ladh&#299;na Kafar&#363; Fal&#257; Yaghrurka Taqallubuhum F&#299; Al-Bil&#257;di. Kadhdhabat Qablahum Qawmu N&#363;&#293;in Wa Al-'A&#293;z&#257 ;bu Min Ba`dihim Wa Hammat Kullu 'Ummatin Biras&#363;lihim Liya'khudh&#363;hu Wa J&#257;dal&#363; Bil-B&#257;&#355; ili Liyud&#293;i&#273 ;&#363; Bihi Al-&#292;aqqa Fa'akhadhtuhum Fakayfa K&#257;na `Iq&#257;bi. Wa Kadhalika &#292;aqqat Kalimatu Rabbika `Alaá Al-Ladh&#299;na Kafar&#363; 'Annahum 'A&#351;&#293;&am p;#257;bu An-N&#257;ri. Al-Ladh&#299;na Ya&#293;mil&#363; na Al-`Arsha Wa Man &#292;awlahu Yusabbi&#293;&#36 3;na Bi&#293;amdi Rabbihim Wa Yu'umin&#363;na Bihi Wa Yastaghfir&#363;na Lilladh&#299;na '&#256;man&#363; Rabban&#257; Wasi`ta Kulla Shay'in Ra&#293;matan Wa `Ilm&#257;an F&#257;ghfir Lilladh&#299;na T&#257;b&#363; Wa Attaba`&#363; Sab&#299;laka Wa Qihim `Adh&#257;ba Al-Ja&#293;&#299; mi. Rabban&#257; Wa 'Adkhilhum Jann&#257;ti `Adnin Allat&#299; Wa`adtahum Wa Man &#350;ala&#293;a Min '&#256;b&#257;'ih im Wa 'Azw&#257;jihim Wa Dhurr&#299;y&#257 ;tihim 'Innaka 'Anta Al-`Az&#299;zu Al-&#292;ak&#299; mu. Wa Qihimu As-Sayyi'&#257;ti Wa Man Taq&#299; As-Sayyi'&#257;ti Yawma'idhin Faqad Ra&#293;imtahu Wa Dhalika Huwa Al-Fawzu Al-`Až&#299;mu. 'Inna Al-Ladh&#299;na Kafar&#363; Yun&#257;dawna Lamaqtu All&#257;hi 'Akbaru Min Maqtikum 'Anfusakum 'Idh Tud`awna 'Ilaá Al-'&#298;m&#257; ni Fatakfur&#363;na. Q&#257;l&#363; Rabban&#257; 'Amattan&#257; Athnatayni Wa 'A&#293;yaytan&#2 57; Athnatayni F&#257;`tarafn&#2 57; Bidhun&#363;bin&# 257; Fahal 'Ilaá Khur&#363;jin Min Sab&#299;lin. Dh&#257;likum Bi'annahu 'Idh&#257; Du`iya All&#257;hu Wa&#293;dahu Kafartum Wa 'In Yushrak Bihi Tu'umin&#363; F&#257;l&#293;ukm u Lill&#257;hi Al-`Al&#299;yi Al-Kab&#299;ri. Huwa Al-Ladh&#299; Yur&#299;kum '&#256;y&#257;tih i Wa Yunazzilu Lakum Mina As-Sam&#257;'i Rizq&#257;an Wa M&#257; Yatadhakkaru 'Ill&#257; Man Yun&#299;bu. F&#257;d`&#363; All&#257;ha Mukhli&#351;&#299 ;na Lahu Ad-D&#299;na Wa Law Kariha Al-K&#257;fir&#36 3;na. Raf&#299;`u Ad-Daraj&#257;ti Dh&#363; Al-`Arshi Yulq&#299; Ar-R&#363;&#293;a Min 'Amrihi `Alaá Man Yash&#257;'u Min `Ib&#257;dihi Liyundhira Yawma At-Tal&#257;qi. Yawma Hum B&#257;riz&#363;n a L&#257; Yakhfaá `Alaá All&#257;hi Minhum Shay'un Liman Al-Mulku Al-Yawma Lill&#257;hi Al-W&#257;&#293;i di Al-Qahh&#257;ri. Al-Yawma Tujzaá Kullu Nafsin Bim&#257; Kasabat L&#257; Žulma Al-Yawma 'Inna All&#257;ha Sar&#299;`u Al-&#292;is&#257; bi. Wa 'Andhirhum Yawma Al-'&#256;zifati 'Idhi Al-Qul&#363;bu Ladaá Al-&#292;an&#257; jiri K&#257;žim&#299;n a M&#257; Lilžž&#257;lim&#2 99;na Min &#292;am&#299;min Wa L&#257; Shaf&#299;`in Yu&#355;&#257;`u. Ya`lamu Kh&#257;'inata Al-'A`yuni Wa M&#257; Tukhf&#299; A&#351;-&#350;ud& amp;#363;ru. Wa All&#257;hu Yaq&#273;&#299; Bil-&#292;aqqi Wa Al-Ladh&#299;na Yad`&#363;na Min D&#363;nihi L&#257; Yaq&#273;&#363;na Bishay'in 'Inna All&#257;ha Huwa As-Sam&#299;`u Al-Ba&#351;&#299; ru. 'Awa Lam Yas&#299;r&#363; F&#299; Al-'Ar&#273;i Fayanžur&#363; Kayfa K&#257;na `&#256;qibatu Al-Ladh&#299;na K&#257;n&#363; Min Qablihim K&#257;n&#363; Hum 'Ashadda Minhum Q&#363;watan Wa '&#256;th&#257;r& amp;#257;an F&#299; Al-'Ar&#273;i Fa'akhadhahumu All&#257;hu Bidhun&#363;bihim Wa M&#257; K&#257;na Lahum Mini All&#257;hi Min W&#257;qin. Dh&#257;lika Bi'annahum K&#257;nat Ta't&#299;him Rusuluhum Bil-Bayyin&#257;ti Fakafar&#363; Fa'akhadhahumu All&#257;hu 'Innahu Qaw&#299;yun Shad&#299;du Al-`Iq&#257;bi. Wa Laqad 'Arsaln&#257; M&#363;saá Bi'&#257;y&#257;t in&#257; Wa Sul&#355;&#257;ni n Mub&#299;nin. 'Ilaá Fir`awna Wa H&#257;m&#257;na Wa Q&#257;r&#363;na Faq&#257;l&#363; S&#257;&#293;irun Kadhdh&#257;bun. Falamm&#257; J&#257;'ahum Bil-&#292;aqqi Min `Indin&#257; Q&#257;l&#363; Aqtul&#363; 'Abn&#257;'a Al-Ladh&#299;na '&#256;man&#363; Ma`ahu Wa Asta&#293;y&#363; Nis&#257;'ahum Wa M&#257; Kaydu Al-K&#257;fir&#29 9;na 'Ill&#257; F&#299; &#272;al&#257;lin . Wa Q&#257;la Fir`awnu Dhar&#363;n&#299; 'Aqtul M&#363;saá Wa L&#299;ad`u Rabbahu 'Inn&#299; 'Akh&#257;fu 'An Yubaddila D&#299;nakum 'Aw 'An Yužhira F&#299; Al-'Ar&#273;i Al-Fas&#257;da. Wa Q&#257;la M&#363;saá 'Inn&#299; `Udhtu Birabb&#299; Wa Rabbikum Min Kulli Mutakabbirin L&#257; Yu'uminu Biyawmi Al-&#292;is&#257; bi. Wa Q&#257;la Rajulun Mu'uminun Min '&#256;li Fir`awna Yaktumu '&#298;m&#257;nah u 'Ataqtul&#363;na Rajul&#257;an 'An Yaq&#363;la Rabbiya All&#257;hu Wa Qad J&#257;'akum Bil-Bayyin&#257;ti Min Rabbikum Wa 'In Yaku K&#257;dhib&#257; an Fa`alayhi Kadhibuhu Wa 'In Yaku &#350;&#257;diq&a mp;#257;an Yu&#351;ibkum Ba`&#273;u Al-Ladh&#299; Ya`idukum 'Inna All&#257;ha L&#257; Yahd&#299; Man Huwa Musrifun Kadhdh&#257;bun. Y&#257; Qawmi Lakumu Al-Mulku Al-Yawma Ž&#257;hir&#299;n a F&#299; Al-'Ar&#273;i Faman Yan&#351;urun&#25 7; Min Ba'si All&#257;hi 'In J&#257;'an&#257; Q&#257;la Fir`awnu M&#257; 'Ur&#299;kum 'Ill&#257; M&#257; 'Araá Wa M&#257; 'Ahd&#299;kum 'Ill&#257; Sab&#299;la Ar-Rash&#257;di. Wa Q&#257;la Al-Ladh&#299; '&#256;mana Y&#257; Qawmi 'Inn&#299; 'Akh&#257;fu `Alaykum Mithla Yawmi Al-'A&#293;z&#257 ;bi. Mithla Da'bi Qawmi N&#363;&#293;in Wa `&#256;din Wa Tham&#363;da Wa Al-Ladh&#299;na Min Ba`dihim Wa M&#257; All&#257;hu Yur&#299;du Žulm&#257;an Lil`ib&#257;di. Wa Y&#257;qawmi 'Inn&#299; 'Akh&#257;fu `Alaykum Yawma At-Tan&#257;di. Yawma Tuwall&#363;na Mudbir&#299;na M&#257; Lakum Mina All&#257;hi Min `&#256;&#351;imin Wa Man Yu&#273;lili All&#257;hu Fam&#257; Lahu Min H&#257;din. Wa Laqad J&#257;'akum Y&#363;sufu Min Qablu Bil-Bayyin&#257;ti Fam&#257; Ziltum F&#299; Shakkin Mimm&#257; J&#257;'akum Bihi &#292;attaá 'Idh&#257; Halaka Qultum Lan Yab`atha All&#257;hu Min Ba`dihi Ras&#363;l&#257;a n Kadh&#257;lika Yu&#273;illu All&#257;hu Man Huwa Musrifun Murt&#257;bun. Al-Ladh&#299;na Yuj&#257;dil&#363 ;na F&#299; '&#256;y&#257;ti All&#257;hi Bighayri Sul&#355;&#257;ni n 'At&#257;hum Kabura Maqt&#257;an `Inda All&#257;hi Wa `Inda Al-Ladh&#299;na '&#256;man&#363; Kadh&#257;lika Ya&#355;ba`u All&#257;hu `Alaá Kulli Qalbi Mutakabbirin Jabb&#257;rin. Wa Q&#257;la Fir`awnu Y&#257; H&#257;m&#257;nu Abni L&#299; &#350;ar&#293;&am p;#257;an La`all&#299; 'Ablughu Al-'Asb&#257;ba. 'Asb&#257;ba As-Sam&#257;w&#25 7;ti Fa'a&#355;&#355;a li`a 'Ilaá 'Ilahi M&#363;saá Wa 'Inn&#299; La'ažunnuhu K&#257;dhib&#257; an Wa Kadhalika Zuyyina Lifir`awna S&#363;'u `Amalihi Wa &#350;udda `Ani As-Sab&#299;li Wa M&#257; Kaydu Fir`awna 'Ill&#257; F&#299; Tab&#257;bin. Wa Q&#257;la Al-Ladh&#299; '&#256;mana Y&#257; Qawmi Attabi`&#363;n&#2 99; 'Ahdikum Sab&#299;la Ar-Rash&#257;di. Y&#257; Qawmi 'Innam&#257; Hadhihi Al-&#292;ay&#257; Atu Ad-Duny&#257; Mat&#257;`un Wa 'Inna Al-'&#256;khirata Hiya D&#257;ru Al-Qar&#257;ri. Man `Amila Sayyi'atan Fal&#257; Yujzaá 'Ill&#257; Mithlah&#257; Wa Man `Amila &#350;&#257;li&am p;#293;&#257;an Min Dhakarin 'Aw 'Unthaá Wa Huwa Mu'uminun Fa'&#363;l&#257;' ika Yadkhul&#363;na Al-Jannata Yurzaq&#363;na F&#299;h&#257; Bighayri &#292;is&#257;bin . Wa Y&#257;qawmi M&#257; L&#299; 'Ad`&#363;kum 'Ilaá An-Naj&#257;ati Wa Tad`&#363;nan&#29 9; 'Ilaá An-N&#257;ri. Tad`&#363;nan&#29 9; Li'kfura Bill&#257;hi Wa 'Ushrika Bihi M&#257; Laysa L&#299; Bihi `Ilmun Wa 'An&#257; 'Ad`&#363;kum 'Ilaá Al-`Az&#299;zi Al-Ghaff&#257;ri. L&#257; Jarama 'Annam&#257; Tad`&#363;nan&#29 9; 'Ilayhi Laysa Lahu Da`watun F&#299; Ad-Duny&#257; Wa L&#257; F&#299; Al-'&#256;khirati Wa 'Anna Maraddan&#257; 'Ilaá All&#257;hi Wa 'Anna Al-Musrif&#299;na Hum 'A&#351;&#293;&am p;#257;bu An-N&#257;ri. Fasatadhkur&#363;na M&#257; 'Aq&#363;lu Lakum Wa 'Ufawwi&#273;u 'Amr&#299; 'Ilaá All&#257;hi 'Inna All&#257;ha Ba&#351;&#299;run Bil-`Ib&#257;di. Fawaq&#257;hu All&#257;hu Sayyi'&#257;ti M&#257; Makar&#363; Wa &#292;&#257;qa Bi'&#257;li Fir`awna S&#363;'u Al-`Adh&#257;bi. An-N&#257;ru Yu`ra&#273;&#363; na `Alayh&#257; Ghud&#363;w&#257; an Wa `Ash&#299;y&#257; an Wa Yawma Taq&#363;mu As-S&#257;`atu 'Adkhil&#363; '&#256;la Fir`awna 'Ashadda Al-`Adh&#257;bi. Wa 'Idh Yata&#293;&#257;j j&#363;na F&#299; An-N&#257;ri Fayaq&#363;lu A&#273;-&#272;u`a f&#257;'u Lilladh&#299;na Astakbar&#363; 'Inn&#257; Kunn&#257; Lakum Taba`&#257;an Fahal 'Antum Mughn&#363;na `Ann&#257; Na&#351;&#299;b&a mp;#257;an Mina An-N&#257;ri. Q&#257;la Al-Ladh&#299;na Astakbar&#363; 'Inn&#257; Kullun F&#299;h&#257; 'Inna All&#257;ha Qad &#292;akama Bayna Al-`Ib&#257;di. Wa Q&#257;la Al-Ladh&#299;na F&#299; An-N&#257;ri Likhazanati Jahannama Ad`&#363; Rabbakum Yukhaffif `Ann&#257; Yawm&#257;an Mina Al-`Adh&#257;bi. Q&#257;l&#363; 'Awa Lam Taku Ta't&#299;kum Rusulukum Bil-Bayyin&#257;ti Q&#257;l&#363; Balaá Q&#257;l&#363; F&#257;d`&#363; Wa M&#257; Du`&#257;'u Al-K&#257;fir&#29 9;na 'Ill&#257; F&#299; &#272;al&#257;lin . 'Inn&#257; Lanan&#351;uru Rusulan&#257; Wa Al-Ladh&#299;na '&#256;man&#363; F&#299; Al-&#292;ay&#257; ati Ad-Duny&#257; Wa Yawma Yaq&#363;mu Al-'Ash/h&#257;du. Yawma L&#257; Yanfa`u Až-Ž&#257;lim&#29 9;na Ma`dhiratuhum Wa Lahumu Al-La`natu Wa Lahum S&#363;'u Ad-D&#257;ri. Wa Laqad '&#256;tayn&#257; M&#363;saá Al-Hudaá Wa 'Awrathn&#257; Ban&#299; 'Isr&#257;'&#299; la Al-Kit&#257;ba. Hudan Wa Dhikraá Li'wl&#299; Al-'Alb&#257;bi. F&#257;&#351;bir 'Inna Wa`da All&#257;hi &#292;aqqun Wa Astaghfir Lidhanbika Wa Sabbi&#293; Bi&#293;amdi Rabbika Bil-`Ash&#299;yi Wa Al-'Ibk&#257;ri. 'Inna Al-Ladh&#299;na Yuj&#257;dil&#363 ;na F&#299; '&#256;y&#257;ti All&#257;hi Bighayri Sul&#355;&#257;ni n 'At&#257;hum 'In F&#299; &#350;ud&#363;rih im 'Ill&#257; Kibrun M&#257; Hum Bib&#257;ligh&#29 9;hi F&#257;sta`idh Bill&#257;hi 'Innahu Huwa As-Sam&#299;`u Al-Ba&#351;&#299; ru. Lakhalqu As-Sam&#257;w&#25 7;ti Wa Al-'Ar&#273;i 'Akbaru Min Khalqi An-N&#257;si Wa Lakinna 'Akthara An-N&#257;si L&#257; Ya`lam&#363;na. Wa M&#257; Yastaw&#299; Al-'A`maá Wa Al-Ba&#351;&#299; ru Wa Al-Ladh&#299;na '&#256;man&#363; Wa `Amil&#363; A&#351;-&#350;&am p;#257;li&#293;&# 257;ti Wa L&#257; Al-Mus&#299;'u Qal&#299;l&#257;a n M&#257; Tatadhakkar&#363;na. 'Inna As-S&#257;`ata La'&#257;tiyatun L&#257; Rayba F&#299;h&#257; Wa Lakinna 'Akthara An-N&#257;si L&#257; Yu'umin&#363;na. Wa Q&#257;la Rabbukum Ad`&#363;n&#299; 'Astajib Lakum 'Inna Al-Ladh&#299;na Yastakbir&#363;na `An `Ib&#257;dat&#299 ; Sayadkhul&#363;na Jahannama D&#257;khir&#299; na. All&#257;hu Al-Ladh&#299; Ja`ala Lakumu Al-Layla Litaskun&#363; F&#299;hi Wa An-Nah&#257;ra Mub&#351;ir&#257; an 'Inna All&#257;ha Ladh&#363; Fa&#273;lin `Alaá An-N&#257;si Wa Lakinna 'Akthara An-N&#257;si L&#257; Yashkur&#363;na. Dhalikumu All&#257;hu Rabbukum Kh&#257;liqu Kulli Shay'in L&#257; 'Il&#257;ha 'Ill&#257; Huwa Fa'ann&#257; Tu'ufak&#363;na. Kadh&#257;lika Yu'ufaku Al-Ladh&#299;na K&#257;n&#363; Bi'&#257;y&#257;t i All&#257;hi Yaj&#293;ad&#363; na. All&#257;hu Al-Ladh&#299; Ja`ala Lakumu Al-'Ar&#273;a Qar&#257;r&#257;a n Wa As-Sam&#257;'a Bin&#257;'an Wa &#350;awwarakum Fa'a&#293;sana &#350;uwarakum Wa Razaqakum Mina A&#355;-&#354;ayy ib&#257;ti Dhalikumu All&#257;hu Rabbukum Fatab&#257;raka All&#257;hu Rabbu Al-`&#256;lam&#29 9;na. Huwa Al-&#292;ayyu L&#257; 'Il&#257;ha 'Ill&#257; Huwa F&#257;d`&#363;hu Mukhli&#351;&#299 ;na Lahu Ad-D&#299;na Al-&#292;amdu Lill&#257;hi Rabbi Al-`&#256;lam&#29 9;na. Qul 'Inn&#299; Nuh&#299;tu 'An 'A`buda Al-Ladh&#299;na Tad`&#363;na Min D&#363;ni All&#257;hi Lamm&#257; J&#257;'aniya Al-Bayyin&#257;tu Min Rabb&#299; Wa 'Umirtu 'An 'Uslima Lirabbi Al-`&#256;lam&#29 9;na. Huwa Al-Ladh&#299; Khalaqakum Min Tur&#257;bin Thumma Min Nu&#355;fatin Thumma Min `Alaqatin Thumma Yukhrijukum &#354;ifl&#257;an Thumma Litablugh&#363; 'Ashuddakum Thumma Litak&#363;n&#363 ; Shuy&#363;kh&#257 ;an Wa Minkum Man Yutawaffaá Min Qablu Wa Litablugh&#363; 'Ajal&#257;an Musamman Wa La`allakum Ta`qil&#363;na. Huwa Al-Ladh&#299; Yu&#293;y&#299; Wa Yum&#299;tu Fa'idh&#257; Qa&#273;aá 'Amr&#257;an Fa'innam&#257; Yaq&#363;lu Lahu Kun Fayak&#363;nu.food sit in an open, well-venilated spot for a week before eating. And now, back to our featured presentation. Wasn't that semi-entertaining? I bet you wanna go eat some Ketchup covered Dum-B Gon right now, while watching "reality" TV. Just make sure you "spray" your food first. Pathetic, wasn't it? Oh, well. I was bored, and a dilligent reader suggested I make fake commercials, so...therer they are. Happy? Good. I'm leavin', for now. I'm back. And I'm willing to enlighten you, the potentially you-know-what reader. Today, I was checking out some weird news. At one point, I read an article that stated that it had been proven, conclusivly, that Kansas was flatter than the standard pancake. The researches even used highly advanced technololgy to map the surface of a pancake and compare it to documented geology of Kansas. Some people disagree, the director of the Kansas Geological Survey said "I think this is part of a vast breakfast food conspiracy to denigrate Kansas. It's a cheap shot." So...doesn't that make you want to take Kansas' side (I sincerly appologize if you are from Kansas). It just seems extremly weird (and worthy of mentioning) that this semi-important guy from Kansas believes in a "vast breakfast food conspiracy". Makes y 'Alam Taraá 'Ilaá Al-Ladh&#299;na Yuj&#257;dil&#363 ;na F&#299; '&#256;y&#257;ti All&#257;hi 'Annaá Yu&#351;raf&#363; na. Al-Ladh&#299;na Kadhdhab&#363; Bil-Kit&#257;bi Wa Bim&#257; 'Arsaln&#257; Bihi Rusulan&#257; Fasawfa Ya`lam&#363;na. 'Idhi Al-'Aghl&#257;lu F&#299; 'A`n&#257;qihim Wa As-Sal&#257;silu Yus&#293;ab&#363; na. F&#299; Al-&#292;am&#299; mi Thumma F&#299; An-N&#257;ri Yusjar&#363;na. Thumma Q&#299;la Lahum 'Ayna M&#257; Kuntum Tushrik&#363;na. Min D&#363;ni All&#257;hi Q&#257;l&#363; &#272;all&#363; `Ann&#257; Bal Lam Nakun Nad`&#363; Min Qablu Shay'&#257;an Kadh&#257;lika Yu&#273;illu All&#257;hu Al-K&#257;fir&#29 9;na. Dh&#257;likum Bim&#257; Kuntum Tafra&#293;&#363; na F&#299; Al-'Ar&#273;i Bighayri Al-&#292;aqqi Wa Bim&#257; Kuntum Tamra&#293;&#363; na. Adkhul&#363; 'Abw&#257;ba Jahannama Kh&#257;lid&#299; na F&#299;h&#257; Fabi'sa Mathwaá Al-Mutakabbir&#299;na . F&#257;&#351;bir 'Inna Wa`da All&#257;hi &#292;aqqun Fa'imm&#257; Nuriyannaka Ba`&#273;a Al-Ladh&#299; Na`iduhum 'Aw Natawaffayannaka Fa'ilayn&#257; Yurja`&#363;na. Wa Laqad 'Arsaln&#257; Rusul&#257;an Min Qablika Minhum Man Qa&#351;a&#351;n& amp;#257; `Alayka Wa Minhum Man Lam Naq&#351;u&#351; `Alayka Wa M&#257; K&#257;na Liras&#363;lin 'An Ya'tiya Bi'&#257;yatin 'Ill&#257; Bi'idhni All&#257;hi Fa'idh&#257; J&#257;'a 'Amru All&#257;hi Qu&#273;iya Bil-&#292;aqqi Wa Khasira Hun&#257;lika Al-Mub&#355;il&#3 63;na. All&#257;hu Al-Ladh&#299; Ja`ala Lakumu Al-'An`&#257;m Litarkab&#363; Minh&#257; Wa Minh&#257; Ta'kul&#363;na. Wa Lakum F&#299;h&#257; Man&#257;fi`u Wa Litablugh&#363; `Alayh&#257; &#292;&#257;jatan F&#299; &#350;ud&#363;rik um Wa `Alayh&#257; Wa `Alaá Al-Fulki Tu&#293;mal&#363; na. Wa Yur&#299;kum '&#256;y&#257;tih i Fa'ayya '&#256;y&#257;ti All&#257;hi Tunkir&#363;na. 'Afalam Yas&#299;r&#363; F&#299; Al-'Ar&#273;i Fayanžur&#363; Kayfa K&#257;na `&#256;qibatu Al-Ladh&#299;na Min Qablihim K&#257;n&#363; 'Akthara Minhum Wa 'Ashadda Q&#363;watan Wa '&#256;th&#257;r& amp;#257;an F&#299; Al-'Ar&#273;i Fam&#257; 'Aghnaá `Anhum M&#257; K&#257;n&#363; Yaksib&#363;na. Falamm&#257; J&#257;'at/hum Rusuluhum Bil-Bayyin&#257;ti Fari&#293;&#363; Bim&#257; `Indahum Mina Al-`Ilmi Wa &#292;&#257;qa Bihim M&#257; K&#257;n&#363; Bihi Yastahzi'&#363;n. Falamm&#257; Ra'aw Ba'san&#257; Q&#257;l&#363; '&#256;mann&#257; Bill&#257;hi Wa&#293;dahu Wa Kafarn&#257; Bim&#257; Kunn&#257; Bihi Mushrik&#299;na. Falam Yaku Yanfa`uhum '&#298;m&#257;nuh um Lamm&#257; Ra'aw Ba'san&#257; Sunnata All&#257;hi Allat&#299; Qad Khalat F&#299; `Ib&#257;dihi Wa Khasira Hun&#257;lika Al-K&#257;fir&#36 3;na.(•_•)
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