5:02 PM - Savagery:
Lemme tell you a story, about a silly feller named Blert, and how he got the a in his name...
One day little Blert was walking down the street as he did daily, as he had to stay in shape so he could still be X God. As he stood there, he thought: "My my... I am missing something in my life. Despite my diet of tanning and oiling my rock hard abs, I feel like a piece of me just isnt here"

Then, he walked by a tall brunette girl whom Blert had recognized from somewhere! He approached her, flexing his large muscles and obviously showing he is the most masculine of all men. "aaaaaaaaa baby what you up to?" Blert inquired. The brunette girl, sweating prefusely from the pounds of makeup on her face, replied,"oh nothing, just reading my twitter, and managing the kitty crew..the usual. You sure are hot! But kill yourself you dont own a cadillac! I'm gonna marry a rich dude! Subscribe loser!"

That's when the Blert knew, to get such women to talk to him, he needed to introduce himself with his name, so they know of his Global Elite rank in CS:GO, and that he was banned from League of Legends LCS for making both Doublelift and Faker cry on stage.

But one thing that Blert did not have, and that one thing that had to be special, something close to him. The letter "A". Whenever he picked up a girl, he said "aaaaaaaaa", he knew he was going to have to make a new contact in his phone as "side hoe #78"


He added A in honor of how the letter had guided him through his travels from model to model pickup lines, and that's all that matters.