I am 37 years old.

My mother still buys me candy when I visit home and hands them to me the same way she did when I was a kid.

I work as a data inputter at a logistics company.

I have no friends.

I have no girlfriend.

The last time I kissed a girl was 1997.

The last time I got drunk was around 2006.

I am a virgin.

My dad left my mother for another women when I was very young.

For my birthday last year I booked a motel room and paid for an escort but when she turned up I felt sorry for her and gave her the money and told her to get some sleep but she laughed and called me a bunch of names and left.

I was attractive in my late teens and early 20s buy my looks have worn off.

No girls notice me and I don't feel worthy of being noticed.

Sometimes I drive to McDonalds after work and buy way too much food and eat until I feel nauseous and then lie in the backseat while listening to R.E.M.

Last year I developed a crush on a girl who works at an Arby's near my workplace but when I asked her out she seemed to hope I was joking and said no thanks.

My old neighbour had a pet dog that I'd look after sometimes but he moved out and now all I have are the plants I try and care for.