bio tutorial by ghcnvbkn https://www.hltv.org/forums/threads/2436835/hltv-bio-tutorial

Ranking the 6 best HLTV users from 2015 - 2025:

1. I_car (banned)
2. Jonty04l32 (the only active user)
3. ghcnvbkn (not active... but still alive! :)
4. the_one_who_baits (banned)
5. volvo_making_alot_of_money (banned...)
6. i_play_b_rotation (banned...)
99996. Sam2k (banned!)

Ranking the 7 best HLTV users from 2026 - 2030 :

I JUST GOT BACK TO HLTV SO IT WILL TAKE SOME TIME TO KNOW EVERYONE AGAIN
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.

Facts:

1. I'm always top fragging, people call me "s1mple v2" cuz i'm a baiter!
2. I'm not the_one_who_baits alt. He was one of the best users...
3. I_car was the best user EVER on HLTV (L_car thrash).
4. Sam2k got 10 years banned :DDDD! https://www.hltv.org/profile/1103097/sam2
5. Jonty has over 50 000 comments https://www.hltv.org/profile/668758/jonty04l32

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Why does admins delete threads?

It's because on the rules is writen:

GUIDELINES:
*Act like a normal person*

feelssadman

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Aged well comments

1 - https://www.hltv.org/news/20560/one-for-the-future-zywoo#r21578556
2 - https://www.hltv.org/matches/2301187/luminosity-vs-fnatic-iem-katowice-2016#r20487814
3 - https://www.hltv.org/forums/threads/2348237/why-supra-hobbit


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16-0 & 32-0 MATCHES

https://www.hltv.org/forums/threads/2481797/16-0-archive-v2 < This nice user got almost every 16x0/32x0 matches on HLTV. Legend.

omg he just got 10yeared wtf hltv


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copypastas~

Eletric Car bill copypasta~~

I remember one time my dad gave me money to pay my electric bill, but instead I bought a lottery ticket drawing a new car. When I got home, I explained to my dad what I had done, and he kicked my ass... But the next day, when my dad woke up and opened the door, there was a new car outside. We were all crying, especially me, because the car was from the power supply company, it came to cut our electricity... My father beat the shit out of me again.

De40ce strat copypasta~~

So I started a faceit game and everything went really well
We were losing 2-11 and my score was 3-10
I knew I have to do something to not lose my elo we took a pause and I started to download a 4K full HD hardcore video...
I made a couple screenshot about my 29packet loss and send it to faceit
They wrote me back in like 15-20min they said dev1ce had the same issue so they give the elo back
So its not that hard to play like dev1ce you just have to play smart

eletronic about s1mple on bc

I was walking outside and randomly saw Electronic making his vlogs. After he was finished recording, we talked for a bit and then headed out to tour his farm. He started introducing me to some of the livestock, mentioning how he had named them after his players, as the unhinged animals they were. Just then, I was hit by an unbearable stench. With my eyes watering uncontrollably, I questioned through gritted teeth, "What in the hell is that smell?" He looked over knowingly and said: "Ah. simple? The goat is never washed

ALIENS EXIST!!!

in 1947 there were many reports of ufos performing incredible stuff, from citizens, high ranking officials and scientists. Both the public and intelligence committee grew convinced that something was hiding amongst the clouds.

in late june of 1947, the airforce launched an investigation called project sign (who btw was cofounded by the general who inspected the roswell crash) into the sightings as they suspected it might be russian tech. by late september the existence of these advanced craft could not be eliminated.

by the summer of 1948, a number of credible and well documented ufo cases, could not be solved. these cases became known as the "unknowns"

by the process of eliminated project sign concluded, that the most probable explination for the most unexplainable cases, was the extra terristial hypothesis. in other words, the unknowns did not appear to be from this earth.

however, the pentagon rejected this and disbanded project sign thereafter. they launched a selfadmitted by the guy who ran it, a bullshit program that wasnt based on science, project bluebook. it was a show for the public.

ufos got hidden for 70 years.

but now the roof is being blown off. ~~text made by dog_player (https://www.hltv.org/forums/threads/2477546/did-you-know)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pliTOy6xIIw&t=333s

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Ok i just found out this:

https://web.archive.org/web/20200422184111/https://www.hltv.org/profile/60048/jonathan-e