New HLTV.org feature: Nix's sister*

1-4-2009 00:01

Sorry guys, just an April fools, our budgets cannot afford Nix's sister, we'll probably have to settle for Martin's. :-(

For way too long has Nix0n's sister been the subject of under the breath jokes, and snide remarks on the forums. However after a analysis of all the forum posts on HLTV.org we have come to the conclusion that page impressions and user activity increases by a whopping 74% percent when she is mentioned. Meanwhile other topics like mTw will cause a 10% raise, MYM a 12%, your favourite top player posts cause a 13% downturn in hits, and Martin's sister brings a massive 27% drop in activity.

To make sure HLTV.org stays in constant growth we decided to use this new data to the fullest. Our first consideration was recruiting zonic or Neo for another round of blogs with tactics and the life of a top player, but the numbers clearly showed that Nix's sister was the biggest asset we had!

Therefore, as a consequence we dropped the blogging plans with boring gamers, and instead will be diverting the funds to Nix's sister. This means that from now on she will travel with Nix0n to all the big events. This way she can pose in many of the pictures, and meanwhile help Nix0n get ahead. It is no secret that some features of the female body will get you ahead of the pack, and this we intend to exploit to get the best positions for photos, no more photos taken blindly over the head of 50 other photographers.

Ann "Nix's sister" Winther states:

"I am glad to have the chance to be a member of the HLTV.org family, and I look forward to traveling all around the world. I also look forward to working with my brother, how many have a chance to travel the world with their family? I hope everyone will be nice to me, and enjoy this new feature!"

Nothing in esports is however free, and neither is Nix's sister. Therefore we contacted SteelSeries who were excited to help fund this new endeavour. President of Marketing at SteelSeries Kim Rom states:

"After I met Nix0n's sister the first time, I knew that this young woman was intelligent, talented and had exceptional assets. I should have talked to her. I am delighted to use part of my marketing budget to help myself and other gamers get a chance to get closer to this amazing young woman."

This feature will also ensure that the viewers who are at the event, and thus unable to watch our high quality HLTV, will get an equally good viewing experience.

To provide synergy effects with our new wSync project there will also be call-in sessions with Nix's sister, we hope these shows will fulfill the needs of all serious gamers! A hotline is also in the works.

The first event that will show off the new "Nix's Sister" feature will be the KODE5 finals in Moscow.

hahahahahah april 1 boyz:D

2009-04-01 00:03

4 replies

haha fuck yeah

2009-04-01 00:29

DAMN I didn't realizes that today is 1st april until I read your comment! I was so excited with that news!!! You made me a funny joke :(( Now im going to cry ;(

2009-04-01 09:38

2 replies

holy shit no rl? :D

2009-04-01 14:46

hahahahah LOL!

2009-04-01 16:40

wow very nice girl Nixon sister forewaah:D

2009-04-01 00:04

Good one :D

I smell a joke! :D

2009-04-01 00:05

i just lol'd xD

hahaha :DDD

2009-04-01 00:09

Flying overseas wont be so lonely anymore.

2009-04-01 00:10

5 replies

Don't you worry you got the family looks as well! As far as I'm concerned twins without a doubt!

2009-04-01 00:17

haha :D I've got 5-6 guys on IRC asking for her msn! :D

2009-04-02 17:56

Happy to see you guys are still far out ;-) <3

2009-04-04 23:09

This gotta be an extremly RARE spawn, been some time :o)

2009-04-04 23:17

1 reply

Rare spawn? Guess it's once per year these days! Couldn't resist throwing a comment on... something like this... :-)

2009-04-06 22:11

S.I.L.F

2009-04-01 00:15

9 replies

+ 1

2009-04-01 00:18

Haha definately :P;P

2009-04-01 00:19

for what stays the s? sexy? or sister? not sure :D

2009-04-01 00:31

3 replies

sister. but sexy too. s.s.i.l.f

2009-04-01 00:40

2009-04-01 01:38

how many times a day you look at that picture? be honoust?:D hahahahh

2009-04-01 15:12

khm... what that means?

2009-04-01 14:33

Sister i'd like to ....

2009-04-01 14:38

haha ok :D

2009-04-01 14:47

LOL...gr8 joke.. bt its kinda rude if nixon really has a sister..nix u have a sister??

2009-04-01 00:24

8 replies

FAIL.

excuse me!!!??

2009-04-01 00:25

2016-10-19 23:39

I do yes.

ohh kk... :S

2009-04-01 00:27

can I invite her on a date ?

2009-04-01 13:18

AHHAHAHAHHAHA XD

2009-04-01 16:19

hehe

2010-08-18 01:50

I always thought Nix's sister has double E's

I'm sure she has a deep knowledge of the cs scene... anyways it doesn't matter. Nice feature!

HAHA don't smile with my birthday :( :D

2009-04-01 00:26

congratz :)

tnx :D

2009-04-01 18:09

XD good one!

how idiotic ...let`s put a hot chick on the site ... that can`t go bad ... when everything else fails just remember ... sex selles ;) love her elf ears btw

2009-04-01 00:36

It is Nix's sister, you want me to put a picture that isn't of her or what?!

2009-04-01 00:44

ur actually complainin about a picture of a girl, geek for life, sad cunt.

2009-04-01 10:50

God Bless nix sister

2009-04-01 00:32

ROFL!!

2009-04-01 00:35

we are waiting for nixon's brother of course father ,mother and whole other members of all family, yes we are ready..

2009-04-01 00:41

Hmm..

2009-04-01 00:43

You're fucked up. How can you forget his dog? Joking joking joking! I meant cat!

2009-04-01 00:45

hahahahaha

2009-04-01 17:16

hahaha

2009-04-01 00:47

Six hours before it's here so I got juked, lulz.

2009-04-01 00:53

BINGO!

2009-04-01 00:57

oh boy im waiting the hotline number... "whos your....favourite cs player babe?" "axm sexy voice u have there, well .. axhxmxmx you are my favourite cs player" "oh yeah... its kinda hot in here, talk to me dirty babe, give me more..aaa" "does HLTV.org makes you..... h..appy?" "ohhhh yes a lot ahhhh" "how long is your..... mousecord?" "its long enough babe" sexy girl

2009-04-01 00:55

2009-04-01 00:54

yes nomad what about you? do u think to plan sth like that?

2009-04-01 00:59

HAHAHAHAHAHA omg n1

2009-04-01 11:27

how long is your... mousecord.. that killed me xD

2009-04-01 16:21

hahahaha

2009-04-01 19:20

joajoajoajoajoajoa sexy girl mmmmmm miami

is this a joke? :D but i love this joke anyway :D

2009-04-01 01:12

haha nice nice! but would be ok, if you upload more photos, I mean those ones where she doesn't posses (< idk if its a correct word) like a model. normal photos are ok too! and welcome to cs scene!! gl & hf

2009-04-01 02:06

6 replies

photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v255/192/122/711341946/n711341946_627044_6263.jpg will that keeo you quiet for now ?

2009-04-01 02:09

OMG :| I fell in love

2009-04-01 02:37

With who? Just curious.

2009-04-01 02:39

guddo most likely.

2009-04-01 02:40

hahahahahah n1 :D

2009-04-01 14:23

rofl so thats not april's fool

2009-04-01 05:09

loool, very funny :D

2009-04-01 02:23

Article of the Year! :D

2009-04-01 02:24

agreed! hahah

2009-04-01 05:06

Steelseries dude is... ...inteligent...

2009-04-01 02:32

hahaha nice, that make me laugh a lot :)

2009-04-01 02:48

I hope this isn't a April's fools. ;D

2009-04-01 03:02

sure would like to cut that cake nice joke tough :D

2009-04-01 03:20

wow Good

2009-04-01 04:20

WWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOW NICEEE

2009-04-01 04:51

Can i call her using a skype phone? What`s her facebook email??

2009-04-01 05:18

HAHAHAH noob ='''') nomad, best april fools joke EVER hahahahah =''''''''')

2009-04-01 06:32

hahaha nice joke

2009-04-01 07:01

hahaha xd

2009-04-01 07:32

HAHAHAAHH news of the year

2009-04-01 07:48

april's fool D:!

2009-04-01 08:02

nice nice more of this plz :P i love the 1st of april

2009-04-01 08:17

Nix u have pretty sister :x. hahaha nice article :DDD good april joke !!!

2009-04-01 08:27

haha n1

2009-04-01 08:34

66 posts and going up! haha ^^ u are right about Nix`s sister

2009-04-01 08:45

I had that.

2009-04-01 08:50

Hahahaha, great news! :D

2009-04-01 09:03

I'd choose Nix over his sister anytime :o)

2009-04-01 09:06

Nix's sister > CS ^^

2009-04-01 09:10

beautiful woman :P :D

2009-04-01 09:27

1st April DD

2009-04-01 09:28

1April hhaha n1 :DDDDDD

2009-04-01 10:11

1st April? ;D

Lol martin's sister -27%? xD Give me a photo of her:p

2009-04-01 10:28

1st of April or not, i want moar pixxx!!

2009-04-01 10:41

at the end of the day: "this article is real". THAT would be the REAL april's fool!! :DDD

2009-04-01 10:54

LOL!

2009-04-01 13:39

happy 1 of april to all :) enjoy your day , and n1 nix;)

2009-04-01 10:53

but martins sister -27% hhahah XD 1 april pwnz XD

2009-04-01 11:34

hahaha xD

2009-04-01 11:37

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I LAUGHED LIKE HELL :D Nomad I just have to say, I LOVE YOU<3

2009-04-01 11:58

best joke today till now^^

2009-04-01 12:01

rofl, good one ))))

2009-04-01 12:24

2009-04-01 00:01 !! "and Martin's sister brings a massive 27% drop in activity." hahaha /D

2009-04-01 12:34

hey maybe nomad has a hot sister too ? 1vs1 oil fight sista vs sista :D

No she's ugly. it runs in the family. Hope to god he reads this.

2009-04-03 18:30

very nice joke :D :D :D

2009-04-01 13:37

enough with this joke, we want to know who are the march betting winners

2009-04-01 13:50

/fail

2009-04-01 14:08

SILF :D

hahhahahah awsome

2009-04-01 14:12

"but the numbers clearly showed that Nix's sister was the biggest asset we had!" for sure, big asset!

2009-04-01 14:14

Haha,Nice :D

2009-04-01 14:18

damn,no space right now in my jeans :X

2009-04-01 14:25

HAHAHAAHHAHHAHA

2009-04-01 14:39

haahhahahah. give here another nickname. not nix's sister.

2009-04-01 15:31

shez hawt :D

2009-04-01 15:43

Ohhh... very hot girl:D

2009-04-01 15:53

hot

2009-04-01 15:56

now really ..:D who is that girl?:D shes fuckin HOT! :D

2009-04-01 17:05

It really is Nix's sister..

2009-04-01 17:06

who is martin's sister ?

2009-04-01 17:19

why martin's sister have -27% ? How does she look like? xD

2009-04-01 18:27

I knew that this young woman was intelligent, talented and had exceptional ASSets. sry had to do it :)

:O HolyShit! the public "gore" is now true!!

2009-04-01 18:33

niiiiiceeee :D

more pics more pics!!! :D

2009-04-01 18:37

more pics!!!!!

2009-04-01 18:45

Ntaaaa, I can't say u look a like Nix :| APRIL'z :- D

2009-04-01 18:51

bad joke :| so much work on it and it's not worth it

2009-04-01 19:09

You know the 125 other comments seem to differ, and this took around 15 minutes of work, so please..

2009-04-01 19:12

..and Martin's sister brings a massive 27% drop in activity. This sentence made my day :D

2009-04-01 20:34

15 minutes of work is much for this, i mean if the picture was of some other girl it could've been different. No offense for his sister :D

2009-04-01 21:53

Whatever, everyone but you thought it was funny, that is good enough for me.

2009-04-01 21:58

Don't mind him Nomad, seems like he missed the humor gen.

2009-04-02 00:01

no, don't look for me, im just hating and prolly the rest of the users are under 15 years old ;D

2009-04-02 13:50

haaha april fools day

2009-04-01 19:14

shit i got pwned 2 times in hltv and sk gaming

2009-04-01 21:08

haha

2009-04-01 21:54

2009-04-01 22:14

LMAO.

2009-04-01 22:20

2009-04-02 03:41

I want my own nix's sister >)

2009-04-02 05:40

Don't worry, will be in stores for christmas :o)

2009-04-02 05:59

HAHAHAHA

2009-04-02 08:30

so, in the end, it´s a real thing ? or was something about April´s fool

2009-04-02 12:04

keep guessing!!!

2009-04-02 19:01

lol it was really a nice joke but i want 2 giv u a simple tip nixon tat u may now introduce/add ur sis in hltv team cos ................. Look at the no. of coments its not a fnatic vs sk match still ............. :P Though 1 more thing tat u might not post her photo here cos she has been misused by some guys n this pic made us ..... (keep guessing).

2009-04-02 20:41

Why bother spending money in sending Nixon two at the events, only send her, admint nixon your getting old for this job...stay home let your sister do the work....Play some Cricket, this way HLTV will only pay for one ticket

2009-04-04 10:06