HS: "What a lot of people don't know is my story, how a few bad decisions can change a lot"

We caught up with Kevin "⁠HS⁠" Tarn after his departure from Nordavind to find out about his time with the Norwegian organisation and what led to his exit, how he has improved as a player, and what's next for him.

HS left Nordavind at the end of September, closing a turbulent eight-month chapter with the Nordic team. Starting out as a promising project, the team quickly ran into roster difficulties as in-game leader Ruben "⁠RUBINO⁠" Villarroel was forced to step back from active play due to a wrist injury. The Estonian decided to take on the task of leading the team moving forward, but consistent results were hard to come by, exacerbated further by the inability to lock down a stable roster.

In August, Niels Christian "⁠NaToSaphiX⁠" Sillassen stepped down from the active roster in order to seek a new challenge after what he described as a "rocky road" in Nordavind, revealing that there was an obvious difference in philosophies that prevented the team from reaching a "championship-winning" level. A month later, HS decided it was time to call it quits and parted ways with the Norwegian organisation as frustration levels peaked after the team failed to secure a sought-after fifth player.

In this interview, the 23-year-old discusses the unfortunate happenings over his tenure with the team, what prevented the team from finding its form and becoming successful, the failure to sign Ricardo "⁠fox⁠" Pacheco, and what inspires him to keep going despite his career setbacks, among other topics.

Looking back over your time in Nordavind, is there anything you think you could have done differently to have made the project a success? Was this outcome inevitable?

What I personally could have done differently was to look at the lineup as a whole and come to the conclusion that I probably should not take on too many responsibilities that nobody else wanted or was willing to do even though it was outside of my own comfort zone, which would have allowed myself to shine more inside the game on a consistent basis. We were limited by having multiple roster changes later on, but we began the year by not even getting the lineup that we were going for. The plan was to play with fox in the AWP role and I feel like that would balance out the roles a bit more with the added aggression, we would fit better personality-wise and we would actually have the majority of the lineup that had previously played together on Dignitas, with cromen, fox and TENZKI. Then it just kept snowballing - we didn't get the lineup that was envisioned, lost the IGL, had limited options as how to go forward from there, so we basically did what we could with what we had, and it was not much. I would say it was inevitable combined with all the troubles going on inside the team itself.

You took over in-game leading duties once RUBINO left the team. Was this a role you actively wanted to take up or was it out of necessity? Talk me through that experience.

After being forced to play without RUBINO, there was a lot of uncertainty in terms of how we would go forward. We tried NaToSaphiX as the caller for a short period, but everyone felt that it did not fit well. I realised that I was the guy in the team who was putting in the most effort and hours, always looking for new things to try and help everyone in the team improve, and probably the person who had the most suitable personality that you need from a leader. So the logical thing was to do what I could and give my best in the leader role, which everyone agreed with. It was out of necessity, but I could also be a high-level caller and leader with the correct pieces. Usually, the IGL gets to build the project up and put a thought process and method into it, so this situation was much more difficult to work with.

NaToSaphiX mentioned that the “opinions of the players differ too much to evolve into a championship-winning team” in a statement to HLTV.org when he left in August. Do you agree with this sentiment? What was the state of the team after he departed?

I agree that it was one of the many problems which occurred. We had too many strong voices and opinions on matters. Sometimes it's better to let the people designated to take the responsibility of leadership and coaching the team to worry about how you're going to play the game, and focus on doing the best that you can in your own responsibilities. You can't really expect to play well as a team when you have all these conflicting ways of playing from multiple players in the middle of the game. You definitely have to be on the same page when it comes to that.

How would you describe the atmosphere and ambition in the initial months with the team when you joined alongside NaToSaphiX at the beginning of the year? How different were they in comparison to the end of your tenure?

Throughout the entire year, I feel like in terms of the atmosphere and ambition it was pretty bad overall, before and after having NaToSaphiX. Problems with maturity, attitude and work ethic. There would be a constant flood of nonconstructive arguments and reactions, and other things, like being late for practice or not getting up early enough to be fully awake and to prepare in time for matches. To put it simply, it just did not feel like a professional atmosphere at all. I guess the COVID situation amplifies the problems and bad habits, but in my opinion, there are no valid excuses since we're all supposed to be professionals and get our shit together even in situations like this to accomplish something great, which is what we should be striving for.

Do you think that the change in plans, from wanting fox but getting NaToSaphiX in the end, contributed to the instability that the team experienced?

In my eyes it contributed quite a lot, because if you take a look at the players and their personalities, then it would at the very least be a bonus to the way we played and how the team composition fit overall. From working with fox in the past, I know that from him you get aggression, experience and definitely a winning mentality. He has no hesitation and gets straight to the point and that's one of the things that we missed. If you look at our results, it could turn out quite differently by winning a few of the games that we should have closed out, which would have boosted the morale of the team, and fox is someone who takes control of games like that.

At what point did you begin to suspect the team wouldn’t work out? Why did you describe this as a "dysfunctional lineup"?

I would say it felt "off" from the moment we started, the way I described it to my teammates was that it almost felt like everything felt extremely complicated, even when we won. In every round, whether we won or lost, it was super difficult to play out situations and come out on top. I believe it was a combination of a lot of things, some of it because of the lack of experience at the top from a few of the players, some of it because the team was probably viewed as a kind of a “stepping stone,” which is completely wrong in my opinion.

What was the final nail in the coffin that convinced you your time in Nordavind was up?

It was when we couldn't get the player that we wanted for the second time after parting ways with NaToSaphiX. We tried multiple different players but could not make it work and with everyone's frustration levels rising every day that we spent together, it seemed impossible to become a winning team. It made me feel very unhappy and to be honest I also became overly negative around the team, and that was when I felt that it was time to go, when I became the kind of teammate I wouldn't enjoy being around.

In light of the struggles you have faced in multiple teams over the years and the intense challenges you encountered after your serious accident a year ago, what inspires you to keep going and strive for success?

It might sound weird, but I find that inspiration comes from anything, if you truly desire something. I find inspiration from myself, my own struggles and successes as well as other people's. I get it from seeing players get to the top who I personally didn't believe would succeed in that kind of fashion. I get it from all the crazy things I know I'm capable of, and nothing can hold me back until the moment I've shown and proven that.

A lot of people would say that I was good a couple of years ago but fell off - what they don't know is my story, how a few bad decisions can change a lot, and how much I've actually improved through all this, compared to those days. It inspires me to always go forward and wait for the day when I feel my ambitions will come true.

What’s next for you? Have you had any interesting offers that peaked your interest and that you’re considering? Do you already have a plan of action?

There have been some discussions, nothing set in stone for now and I'm still looking around. Understandably, it's hard to look past my market value, which is not the highest at the moment, but at the same time I would say it's unrealistically low compared to my potential. The last couple of years have been extremely unstable, and when your team isn't winning it makes it hard to perform or look good in terms of statistics. You could even look at some of the best players in the world currently not being able to perform, players who you could consider legends of the game in the future.

You wrote in your recent Twitlonger that you have learned to maximise your performance and that you feel sharper than ever. What has this process been like and what have you discovered about yourself along the way?

Some players have talked about kind of losing their “identity” as a player, and I went through this process myself. I came out of it being very sure about who I am as a player and teammate. I have found ways to significantly increase my focus and cognitive abilities for extended periods of time by having a much better routine, becoming physically active and working out consistently, as well as being mentally active by putting a lot more thought into everything I do. For example, I do much more detailed theorycrafting about the game. My work ethic has never been better, everything I do in my life, day in and day out, is in order to become a winner and constantly improve, and I will continue to do so until the end of my career.

When can we expect to see you on the server again?

As soon as I find a stable team and environment to be a part of, whether it's in Europe or North America. That's all I need - stability and a project that makes sense.