jkaem: "Maybe we were too satisfied with just taking part"

jkaem discusses Apeks' early exit at the Major, the team lacking focus and other issues they faced in the disappointing campaign.

Apeks were eliminated from PGL Major Copenhagen on Tuesday, ending the Opening Stage with a 1-3 record as they suffered losses to three of the four Brazilian teams in attendance, paiN, Imperial, and Legacy OCE, and secured their only win in overtime against AMKAL.

Their Major campaign was a stark departure from the level they had shown in the European RMRs, and Joakim "⁠jkaem⁠" Myrbostad spoke to HLTV about just what had happened that caused Apeks' form to tank at the Major itself.

The Norwegian admitted he was "sad, disappointed, even mad and a bit in shock" at the team's showing, and he went at length trying to process why that came to be.

"What hurts us more is the way we played at this event, it's not usually how we play," he said. "Some individuals not having the best tournament as well, and the map pool [...], it's in shambles."

jkaem also spoke about there being a lack of fire from the start and contemplated whether not setting the right mindset for the tournament was a factor, having succeeded in their main goal to qualify. "Maybe we were too satisfied with just taking part. Because that was the goal in the beginning, and then we didn't really set a new goal," he went on. "Reaching the Major meant so much and then when you're here, you're forgetting that this is also a big thing to play for."

You can read or listen to the interview in full below:

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Commiserations for the loss, that was quite hard. Tell me how you're feeling right now after exiting the Major.

I don't know, it's hard to put words to what I'm feeling right now, but of course... sad, disappointed, even mad. A bit in shock as well at what we're showing. That's what I'm feeling right now, a mix of that.

It's been a really good personal run of form from you coming into this, and to fall out in that fashion, as you say, it must really hurt.

Yeah I mean, individually, I came into the tournament feeling really well. My individual skill here was also pretty alright, but it's just all the games we played were never close games, so... What hurts us more is the way we played this event, it's not usually how we play. Of course, some individuals not having the best tournament as well, and then the map pool probably hurts us a lot. Our map pool has... it's in shambles.

You say that it really hurts with the way this event went for you, with the form you had as a team, can you expand on that with what was going wrong from your perspective and what you feel was so off?

It's hard to say, to be honest, I feel like I probably need some time because now I'm speaking out of emotion, but if you think about the best-of-ones, we're ending three times in a row on maps we're not comfortable on because this is our current map pool. Before this tournament, we were working really hard on actually fixing Mirage because we were 1-8 or 0-8 or whatever on that map, and then we ended up not playing it a single time.

That practice could have actually been used on Overpass and Vertigo, which we actually ended up playing. I'm not saying that the teams we had were not good, but it's not like we had the hardest run. We had fair teams and teams we, on a normal day, should beat, so... I don't know what really went wrong at the moment. I will have to evaluate, wait a bit and see, and try to think back because now I have too many emotions about it and it's hard to say.

You had that practice coming into this event, and there was this situation where you brought STYKO back and morphed the lineup with sense taking over leadership. What has that been like with this roster, STYKO only came back on a short-term deal until the end of the Major, so what has that been like?

Even before the RMR, we were not 100% sure what we should go with. Should we try to get a long-term singing, try to go through the closed qualifier and then to the RMR? But we ended up going with Martin, STYKO, and that went really well. Martin played better than I have seen him in a long time, he came back with new motivation, he wanted to show what he is capable of, and I think it was the right decision.

When I think back, definitely if you think about how we played at the RMR, the fire we had, it was like... I think we had fire today, we really wanted to win today, but we're just not in form. In these first three games we didn't show any passion, any fire. It's just like, we're here, we expect to win, oh shit they beat us, and then on to the next one. And it definitely hurt us.

Is there any reason you feel like that was missing?

I don't know, maybe we were too satisfied with just taking part. Because that was the goal in the beginning, and then we didn't really set a new goal- I guess the new goal was to reach the next stage, but reaching the Major meant so much and then when you're here, you're forgetting that this is also a big thing to play for.

That's been a bit of a reoccurring topic ahead of the Major, that it feels like the RMR is almost more important than the Major for a lot of teams. You said you put a lot of emphasis on just getting to the Major, how do you feel about that becoming so common for a lot of teams?

For the ecosystem of organizations and players, the Major usually brings in a ton of money compared to other things. For the very best teams that are always competing for the championships, it's different, because they play all the good tournaments, they always place high, and they play at almost every Major no matter what. So for them it's a little bit different, but for the tier two/tier three teams the Major means so much.

For the org for example, it means much more funds available, you can do good signings, you don't need to always rely on sponsors or investors. For players as well, it's life-changing money usually, when you get signature money and sticker money, and at the moment... maybe it also was a factor for some of the teams, even for us. Everyone is like, 'Where the fuck is the stickers?' you know, and maybe it actually... maybe we think about it more than we actually express.

As in, you were thinking about where the stickers were during the event more than you thought?

It's more like we are trolling about it, like 'Where the fuck is the stickers,' but it's in the back of your head. If you think about it, we have a couple of players who have never played a Major before, they definitely want their sticker, they also want the money that comes along with it.

For me, I'm also old, I'm 30 years old, I don't know how many Majors I have left, you know? You want to grab as much as you can and you want to have as many stickers and signatures as possible. I think it was in the back of our heads, I'm not saying it is the reason why we played dogshit, but... too many side factors and too little focus.

Talking about this ecosystem of the Major and how much it means to orgs, obviously if we go back almost a year to Paris, it was a huge event for Apeks. You made it to the semis, and it was a result that blew everything out of the water for you. Looking back on that and then coming here and having this performance, can you tell me how you're reflecting on that period compared to this result?

If we tried to compare this Major to Paris, it's impossible for us. First of all, new faces, and also... our run in Paris is something that we knew we were most likely not going to replicate. It was a dream run. Also, we had such a strong map pool compared to today, like if you look at our stats today it looks like we only have two maps. I remember then, we had six maps, we could pick whatever the team [we played against] was uncomfortable on and we were comfortable on it.

Also, we are using this word in our team and I think all the teams are using it, this 'identity' as a word, and back in Paris we had a very strong identity. Now, identity is a topic that always comes up, are we lacking identity, are we heading away from the identity, like what is the identity? So I don't know, Paris we were more... I guess more prepared than we were for this one.

How are you trying to find that identity? Does that have to do with trying to finalize a roster going forward, is it trying to get sense to fit in with leadership since it's a new role for him, what is the path to finding that identity going out of this tournament?

I am not sure, honestly. You never know in CS what will happen. All of a sudden, someone is benched, someone is sold, you never know. I don't know what the future of Apeks is, that is something that the org has to decide, they have to figure out the management, and then we'll see.

But if we stay together, the good thing is we have a couple of events coming up, we have some online events, we have Melbourne, so we definitely have a chance to do a redemption after this bad performance, bad showing.

As you said, it was a rough showing. I do want to ask about how sense has been as an IGL because it's a role he transitioned into and he's very young. How is that going and what have you seen from him?

I've seen a lot of good things from sense. He's a good friend of mine. Of course it's going to take time, the kid is very young. The only team he has ever IGL'd before was an academy team and all of a sudden you're playing in the Major, so I wouldn't put too much on his shoulders, to be honest.

It's a collective loss I would say, it is all of us. The preparation wasn't good enough, the fire wasn't good enough, the hunger wasn't good enough, so I wouldn't put any of it on him. He's young, he has a bright future, and because of his personality and the person he is, it will get him somewhere good as long as he keeps that with him.