FalleN about playing the RMR: "My feelings were everywhere, from anxiety to almost crying"

Imperial's captain caught up with HLTV right after their victory over Isurus to go 1-0 at the Americas RMR.

Gabriel "⁠FalleN⁠" Toledo led Imperial to their first win at the IEM Road to Rio 2022 Americas RMR against Isurus, relegating the Argentinian squad to the 0-1 pool. The marksman in-game leader was fantastic throughout the match, but it was Fernando "⁠fer⁠" Alvarenga to top the scoreboard as the rifler posted a 2.02 rating across the 16-2 victory.

After the end of the match, FalleN sat down with HLTV to talk about his own thoughts coming into the tournament in Stockholm, Marcelo "⁠chelo⁠" Cespedes' addition to the squad, and his hopes for the upcoming Major in Rio.

Congratulations on your 1-0 start to the RMR, it was a commanding win against Isurus. How are you feeling? Is that the sort of start you were expecting from the team?

I'm feeling very good. Honestly, this is such an important tournament and my feelings were everywhere, from anxiety to almost crying the night before the game. I am feeling a lot of love for what we have conquered so far, and I'm just happy to be here, living every moment as it comes, playing round by round, and experiencing what could be the last moments of our time playing Majors and such. It's such a long time playing that were want to enjoy the most we can at the very end.

Last night you had a pretty emotional Twitter thread before the start of the tournament. Was that connected to what you were talking about in terms of your emotions right now? Do you feel like your time is coming to an end?

It's definitely connected. I have been trying different ways, it's not the proper time to be talking about it now, but I have many people helping me right now that I never thought was possible and thanks to that help I thought that I was able to find my purpose again.

Eventually, I will be leaving CS and this year I will do what I have been doing, joining my old friends and playing the game, you know? Experiencing different things, seeing the love of my family and my wife, and everything I have in life. I have been able to look at things from a different perspective and that's helped me, so It's all about this mental health everyone is looking for, and I think I am living in a good moment now.

Going back to the tweet, you said nine years ago Brazil was asking for dedicated servers for CS:GO and now you are getting a Major. Do you think qualifying for that event would be the apex of what you've built so far in your career within the Brazilian scene?

For me, there is something mystical about this tournament and if you think about it, it might sound a little crazy, but if the tournament happened when it was supposed to happen, we would not be there. The lineup we had back then was not playing well, the team did not have the right mindset and I was not in my own right mindset either. It would have been a completely different experience to be experiencing a Major before COVID when it was supposed to happen.

After everything that went on, all the suffering and everything that moved things, they all collided into this moment when we have a pretty good chance to get there. In the end, is not about getting there or not, because I am going to be at the Major regardless. If I don't qualify for the Major, I am going to be there to watch and do something for the fans. I am going to live that moment.

For me, it goes beyond the results, it goes beyond the qualification, it's really about seeing the Major as a big satisfaction. To be able to see everything we have built in CS for so many years together, coming to a couple of weeks where everyone in Brazil is going to enjoy it together. People from all around the world are going to travel to our country and this is our chance to show what Brazilians are made of. I really hope we are going to make people proud with this event.

So would you say that this is the Brazilians' RMR, in the sense that the Brazilian teams are fighting more to qualify?

I definitely think the Brazilian teams are fighting the most to be there because it's something so special. In our country is different, right? Like the world cup and all those things, it has something different, it has something special about it. At the same time, you cannot discard the other teams because, like Isurus, are not going to make it easy just because it's in our country, those guys are very very good at the game, so it's never only one thing, and that's what I think.

I have been learning, and what I feel is that worldwide we should be learning more, it's not only about your perspective, so even if the Brazilians think it's so special for them, you have to think that it's special for all the other teams in the world because it's their life too. It's a little selfish if you think it's all about yourself, but at the same time, you have to give it all you have inside you, It's special for everyone, but definitely more special for a couple.

Going back to the team, this is your second event with chelo. The first one was ESL Challenger Melbourne where you finished in second place behind paiN. How did that affect your preparation and your mentality coming into this event? Do you think that experience helped? Is knowing that paiN are also here bringing a little more fire?

Having chelo join the team was good. I think the team needed a change from the last couple of months when we had with fnx and peacemaker on the starting roster. Some things are internal and I should not be expressing them to the public, but the team needed a change and we together thought that this would be a decent move. I am so happy fnx took it the way he took it, you know? He was able to still be with us and still be part of the project because he is the main reason I brought back Imperial, to have fnx back in the scene again.

I have so much gratitude for everything he helped me in the past: he helped me become a better player in 2009, he helped me win CrossFire and 1.6 tournaments in 2013, he helped me get my first Majors. fnx is connected to my life in a way not many players are. To see the way he was leaving at the moment, and the way he needed an opportunity, and combined with the situation that I needed one too, I kind of saw that we could help each other.

It was very difficult to part with him as a player, but it's something that the team needed the most, and again, that's internal, but I am so happy he's still with us and that he's enjoying it as a coach. You can see that he has this energy, even without being with us. It's a connection that I only lived in a couple of moments in my life. Probably only during the era where we won our Majors and I can feel it now, It doesn't mean that we're going to win, it's just it's so cool to believe in it.

How's fnx as coach? Obviously, it's his first stint as one, but you've worked with him for many years, how it now that you have him behind you?

Well, it's going to sound a little bit harsh and probably going to be misinterpreted, but when we were in SK, were had a quote with Ricardo [dead]: "the coach who doesn't fuck up the most, it's the best coach." At the time we thought that the players would be able to figure things out for themselves and that the job of the coach was to be supporting the team when the necessity showed up.

I agree that the necessity of the coach is going to change depending on the period you have and the team you have, but when the coach is putting his necessities above the team's necessities, that is when it doesn't fit right. So that's why fnx is a great coach, he doesn't put his necessities over the team's, and he's there for us with the energy that he's bringing.

We have to see what he can do as a coach, I already told him that if he has to take a pause to just do it, he doesn't have to request anything. It's more of a brotherhood thing than a coaching job as seen with the other teams, but I think he's going to do brilliantly, just like he helped us win against Cloud9 at 15-14 on the third map of the last Major. He was the guy that told us to pressure monster and short at the same time when I didn't know what to call, and there he was. I am expecting him to have more of a part to play as we go.

You also have a few of your ex-teammates and friends at the tournament such as TACO, coldzera, and dead is also around as well. What do you think about them at this event?

It's great to see big friends and to be reconnected with a couple of them. It's not a secret that even me and coldzera didn't get along too well after our departures, you know? A lot of things happened, and I don't want to touch on them, but you can see that we are slowly reconnecting in a way where we can do things a little bit better, and that's great. He did not join our team at the beginning of the year, but there was an intention to be together and you can see why he wasn't there in the end.

He's in such a good place right now, he's with TACO, he has his own group of young guys to be teaching how to play to bring another Major, you know? Things happen for a reason and I think coldzera did not connect with us because of it, he has his own purpose to fill. For TACO and dead, they've always been good friends and it's great to be playing, I think we might get the chance to play against them, depending on how the results go and I think that's going to be a magic match again, just like it was before. I am happy to see them doing well, and I want all the best for them.

You touched on the younger generation of Brazilian players, do you think there is a team or a couple of players that you think the public should keep an eye out for at this tournament?

I think EG are showing a better phase right now, with their latest results, I think they are a team that people should keep an eye on. I think paiN is already showing good results, but for them is about keeping what they are doing while for EG is about exceeding, so it's a little bit different.

I think MIBR has a good chance and they are doing well too, but it's not guaranteed they can make it. I think the fifth and sixth spots at the RMR are going to be pretty tough and wild. Everything is open, including ourselves.